I have not been blogging lately. None of the reasons that I have been dealt have anything to do with my beliefs & feelings, so I am back to blogging. Bottom line is, I love to write & I have been told that what I write is helpful to many people. What really could get in the way of that? Nothing from now on!

My fourth Mother's Day has come & gone. It was a nice day. I was able to see Grandmom, my mom & Jeff's mom. I missed my MomMom, but we'll have to catch her sometime this week. We ran all day long. It was great. I think Calvin thought differently in the morning, but by the evening, I had him so exhausted, he had no choice but sit & enjoy himself. The chocolate cupcakes at dinner probably helped things. He definitely has a sweet tooth. He made Uncle Brad gag with his equally obsessive love for green vegetables. Apparently Uncle Brad does not appreciate spinach like Cal & I do. I am hungry for it right now. I know, we're weird. 

Lately I have been rolling a major thought around in my head. Why is it that people feel that grief has to be slow & inactive? Just because we go somewhere, visit others, blog or celebrate the small things does not mean that we are not crippled with grief throughout our day. I think this discriminatory (& often expressed) perception of grief is EXACTLY what needs to be the focus of change for Erin's Dream. Sure, I can spend the better part of a day in the fetal position feeling so horrible about everything & anything, but I can also go go go & do what I can to make a great new memory each day. An a-ha moment yesterday at dinner. I often feel like our sadness is what makes our past friends & new acquaintances uncomfortable around us. Guess what?! I think it may be our smiles & laughter. What an awful feeling to know that appearing too sad or too happy is just too much for others to handle. Ha! Just makes me want to laugh harder, smile bigger, & love more.